Reminiscences of the past

"I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all." - Evanescence, Field of Innocence.

Evanescence always manages to capture my feelings of something or another, but this song is exactly how I feel about growing up. As a child, Santa and fairies were as real as the sun. But what I miss even more than the belief that something would take my teeth and leave money in its place is, strangely enough, fear. I loved that exhilarating feeling of being scared of, well, anything. I miss being scared of what was waiting in the darkness of night. I yearn for how gullible we all were. If someone mentioned ghosts, or monsters, we'd all end up sleeping in our parents' bed.

Then, once you were a bit older and a bit more skeptical about these things, but the ideas of The Boogey Man still bothered you, and despite your knowing it wasn't real, there was still a nagging, irrational fear. You were so excited and nervous all at once and you couldn't help but giggle.

I miss those feelings. Every time the sun went down was a new exhilarating adventure and all we ever wanted to do was grow up.

But now that we're older, we are scared of monsters of a different kind. As Jordyn Berner aptly put, "We stop looking for monsters under our bed when we realise they're inside of us."

As a child, I trusted the world and all the adventures that it had to hold. And while I still have huge dreams for my future, they're a bit more refined and realistic. I no longer want to become an astronaut, or the president of the United States. I don't expect to marry Prince Charming anymore. I miss the past and I'm terrified of the future. So, I guess it's time to embrace the present!