Claim from YOU magazine

So I was reading the You magazine, or as my dad calls it, the Y-O-U medical journal, and I found these in the "Chuckles" section. They appealed to my sense of humour.

1.  Sarcasm helps you not to tell people what you think of them.
2. I once prayed for a bike but found out God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
3. A train station is where a train stops. A bus station is where a bus stops. On my desk I have a workstation.
4. In the first part of our lives, our parents teach us to walk and talk. Then they tell us to sit down and shut up.
5. War doesn't determine who is right, it determines who is left.
6. Books contain knowledge; knowledge is power. Power corrupts, corruption is a crime and crime doesn't pay. Therefore, if you read, you'll go broke.
7. Never argue with an idiot-they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
8. It may look as if I'm doing nothing but I'm waiting for my problems to go away.
9. Every rule has an exception, except this one.
10. I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say so.
11. I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up

LOL!